We’ve seen it time and time before: someone gets called out on the field, gets a flag they don’t agree with, or isn’t getting as much play-time as they’d like … and they look to their parent on the sidelines to step-in.
Teaching kids how to communicate effectively with coaches is an essential skill that goes far beyond the playing field. It helps build confidence, responsibility, and key interpersonal skills that, let’s face it, they are going to desperately need as successful adults – particularly when there are no parents to step in.
Why It’s Important for Kids to Speak for Themselves
When kids communicate directly with their coaches they learn vital skills that go beyond sports; they help build confidence, independence, and emotional resilience when the going-gets-tough. By learning to speak for themselves, kids (especially young athletes) gain a better understanding of how to handle challenging situations, seek advice or guidance, and work through conflicts on and off the field – constructively.
As they progress in sports, they’ll also need to advocate for themselves in increasingly competitive environments, particularly at the collegiate level. For parents, fostering this sense of self is crucial — not only for their kids’ growth but also to set the tone with a positive reputation in the sports community.
Benefits of Letting Kids Handle Coach Communication
Teaching children to communicate with their coaches isn’t just about sports—it’s a lifelong skill that prepares them for the future. When kids learn to express their needs and ask for feedback, they practice valuable skills that translate into professional and personal success:
- Confidence Building: Allowing kids to advocate for themselves boosts their confidence, helping them believe in themselves to be able to handle difficult conversations or confrontations (which goes hand-in-hand with positive self-talk).
- Developing Accountability: When athletes speak to their coaches, they take ownership of their roles on the team and their athletic development. They also learn how to have relationships with authority figures who might otherwise feel intimidating to approach.
- Preparing for College Sports: At the collegiate level, athletes are expected to handle communication independently, whether it’s speaking up to get recruited, asking about playing time or resolving issues with their coaches.
- Self Advocacy: this prepares athletes to manage their own schedules, communicate with professors, navigate life, and handle the complexities of balancing academics and athletics.
Building the Right Athletic Reputation
We all know a reputation can make or break almost anything in life, but especially in sports. And while parents play an important role in their kids’ journey, it’s critical to strike the right balance between support and over-involvement.
Coaches take notice of how parents behave, both in person and online – so being known as overly controlling or micromanaging will impact your child’s chances of recruitment, as (no surprise) college coaches prefer to work with supportive, encouraging parents who trust their kids to communicate on their own.
8 Ways Parents Help Develop Kids Communication Skills
Parents can really show up as the silent heroes when it comes to helping their kids to develop clear, confident, self-assured communications skills … both on and off the field.
Here’s how:
- Stay Supportive: Be supportive without controlling their every move. This demonstrates trust in their ability to handle themselves and to know the right thing to say or do.
- Respect Boundaries: Let your child take the lead in communicating with their coaches. Step in only when absolutely necessary – even if it’s a tough conversation.
- Maintain a Positive Online Presence: Be mindful of what you post on social media about your kid’s sports team, coach, performance, or anything to do with their NIL (name, image, likeness).
- Encourage Independence Early: Start small by letting your child communicate directly with their coach about practice schedules or game performance, even if it’s by email. This will help them become more comfortable speaking up and communicating with authority figures.
- Coach Them Through Difficult Conversations: Help your kid practice what to say before they approach their coach or teammate with a concern. Role-playing can be a great way to build their confidence.
- Avoid Jumping In: If your athlete is struggling with a coach’s decision, resist the urge to step in immediately. Encourage your child to talk it out with the coach first and handle the situation themselves.
- Be a Positive Role Model: Show your child how to communicate respectfully by maintaining a calm, supportive attitude towards the team, the coaching staff, and at home.
- Celebrate Growth, Not Just Success: Reinforce the idea that personal growth and learning are just as important as winning. This perspective can make it easier for your kid to handle challenging conversations with coaches.
Teaching your child how to communicate with coaches and navigate athletic conversations is a gift that will serve them well throughout their lives. By stepping back and allowing them to take control of their own athletic journey, you empower them to develop essential skills like confidence, accountability, and resilience (and we know they’ll need it on the field!).
Looking for more ways to support your student athlete so they feel confident in their athletic career?
